The Virtue of Selfishness and Its Intersection with Ho’oponopono

Aloha, dear readers, let us embark on an exploration of a complex yet potent concept, a topic that often stirs disquiet in our collective consciousness – selfishness. As a distinguished scholar specializing in the Hawaiian practice of Ho’oponopono, developed by Morrnah Nalamaku Simeona and Dr. Ihaleakala Hew Len, I invite you to join me in understanding how this seemingly contentious concept intersects with the core principles of Ho’oponopono.

For some, the word ‘selfishness’ evokes guilt, even fear. However, this article aims to challenge your perception of this term, inspired by the teachings of philosopher Ayn Rand, who once penned a collection of essays titled, “The Virtue of Selfishnesshttps://hooponopono.fyi/recommends/the-virtue-of-selfishness/.” Like Rand, we dare to venture into the discourse where selfishness can embody virtuous qualities of character.

Dictionaries define ‘selfishness’ as a deep concern for one’s own interests, with or without regard for others. This definition, stripped of its usual negative connotations, suggests that prioritizing one’s needs isn’t inherently evil. Rather, it signifies a well-adjusted individual capable of catering to their own needs first. This standpoint can feel antithetical to societal expectations that often advocate self-sacrifice in the name of the collective good. However, in the paradigm of Ho’oponopono, such self-focus takes on a profound spiritual significance.

The essence of Ho’oponopono lies in the journey towards self-realization and healing, built on the four-step process of repentance, forgiveness, gratitude, and love. Central to this is the individual, their psyche, and their capacity to perceive, interpret, and ultimately reshape their experiences. You are the driver of your own journey. As such, taking care of your own spiritual, emotional, and physical needs becomes a crucial aspect of your Ho’oponopono practice. It’s not an act of selfishness but a prerequisite for achieving peace and balance within yourself, which inevitably radiates outward.

Take the guidance of Anthony de Mello, an Indian Jesuit priest, psychotherapist, and spiritual teacher known for his mindfulness-based practices. He argued that true healing comes not from seeking relief but from understanding the root of our discomfort. This aligns seamlessly with the Ho’oponopono philosophy of taking responsibility for our reality. By confronting our own issues instead of projecting them onto others, we transform our personal hardships into opportunities for growth.

Likewise, de Mello’s teaching that “what you resist will persist” harmonizes with the Ho’oponopono understanding that negative feelings and memories persist until we take responsibility for them. This is not about blame but about recognizing that our feelings and reactions are ours alone to manage and change. By accepting our feelings instead of fighting them, we can liberate ourselves from their hold, opening the way for healing and transformation.

The notion of charity as a form of self-interest can also be understood within the Ho’oponopono framework. True, some may regard this perspective as another manifestation of selfishness. However, in Ho’oponopono, the act of giving is inherently an act of love, a sentiment directed towards the self and others equally. By bringing joy to others, we bring joy to ourselves, fulfilling our responsibility towards our happiness and, in turn, contributing to the collective wellbeing.

The journey of self-transformation through Ho’oponopono calls for a willingness to relinquish deeply held beliefs and embrace new truths. This echoes de Mello’s insight that our chances of awakening correlate directly with our capacity to accept and assimilate truths without fleeing. This process of awakening demands courage and perseverance, but it promises a deeper understanding of ourselves and our connection to the world around us.

In Ho’oponopono, the aim is not to “fix” things or circumstances; instead, it encourages understanding. As de Mello aptly put it, “The trouble with people is that they’re busy fixing things they don’t even understand… They need to be understood. If you understood them, they’d change.” This perception aligns seamlessly with Ho’oponopono’s premise of internal transformation leading to external change. The concept that reality exists not outside but within us is fundamental to both these philosophies.

The assertion that we need to change ourselves first if we wish to transform the world mirrors Ho’oponopono’s core teaching. In practice, Ho’oponopono asks us to clean our minds of negative memories and thoughts, thereby creating a reality in harmony with love and peace. It is our responsibility to manage our negative feelings and reactions, ensuring they do not distort our perception of reality.

One of the most profound teachings of Ho’oponopono is its emphasis on self-love and self-care, encapsulated in the philosophy of being your “best self.” As echoed in de Mello’s words, “Get rid of your fear of failure, your tensions about succeeding, you will be yourself. Relaxed.” Here, selfishness transforms into a form of self-love that nurtures our well-being and allows us to show up authentically in the world.

The discussion around the limitations of concepts resonates with the Ho’oponopono idea of ’emptiness and zero.’ In this state of zero limits, devoid of preconceived notions and judgments, we encounter reality in its purest form. As de Mello suggested, we can appreciate the uniqueness of every experience if we do not view it through our predefined concepts.

Lastly, Ho’oponopono does not advocate self-sacrifice but emphasizes the importance of self-preservation and the pursuit of individual happiness. Sacrificing one’s happiness for others can lead to feelings of resentment, negatively affecting one’s mental health. Instead, Ho’oponopono urges us to balance our needs with those of others, thereby promoting healthy interactions and relationships.

In conclusion, our exploration of ‘selfishness’ through the lens of Ho’oponopono offers a fresh perspective on this widely misunderstood concept. By aligning our pursuit of personal happiness with the collective good, we create a harmony that benefits ourselves and the world around us. Such a balanced approach, as advocated by Ho’oponopono, can guide us towards peace and contentment.